DreamWEAVER

    Call me a victim of the White Man's brainwashing, but I love a female with long hair. To me, there's nothing sexier than a woman carelessly flicking her luxurious locks over her shoulders, or a woman walking down the street--especially in some heels--with that wind in her hair or her curls bouncing up and down. Many women can grow their hair long. Good for you guys. Many women cannot. For these women, God blessed the world with the hair weave.

    I'm not adverse to a woman wearing weave. In fact, I encourage it. Bald-headed women aren't sexy to me, sorry. You can be the prettiest broad in the face, but if your hair is snap short, I'm not interested. I'm a shallow bastard, sue me. If you gotta sew, glue, or braid in that remy or that yaki, it's all good with me. As long as you look good with it, I'm happy.

    So no, I'm not adverse to a woman wearing a weave. But I am adverse to a woman wearing a bad weave, like the picture above of one of them Flavor Of Love hoes, who suffers the double misfortune of having a hit face and a hit hair weave too. If you're gonna get a weave, at least make the effort of convincing me that it's the hair that naturally grew from your scalp. It's 2010, step your track game up bitches.

    This means:

1.) Don't Buy A Straight Weave When You Need A Perm And Then Cover Your Real Hair In Gel So That It'll Stay Down And Match The Texture Of The Weave. That shit is just tacky and it makes you look like a $1.50 hoodrat.

2.) If Your Real Hair Is Black, Don't Try And Fool Niggas With A Brown Weave. My eyes may be bad, but they ain't that damned bad. I can clearly tell the difference between black and brown, especially when the sun's shining on it.

3.) Don't Think That Because You Got A Weave That Means That No Maintenence Is Required. A lot of women got the idea that a weave means that you don't have to maintain it. Wrong!!!! You do have to maintain it, comb that motherfucker until you got that Hawaiian Silky.

4.) Don't Be Cheap. Self-Exclamatory. Don't be cheap when it comes to what type of hair you purchase. I'm not saying that you gotta walk around with $5,000 hair in your head, but spring that little extra for some human hair. It's human hair so it behaves like human hair. It swings like human hair, it bounces like human hair, you can style it like human hair, and you ain't gotta freak out when you get caught in a rain storm because human hair won't have you on the bus smelling like a wet hyena.

5.) Less Is More. Subtly is key. You don't wanna look like our friend in the picture at the top of this post. Weave is like anything else. Good in small doses but too much of it will have you looking like a Wookie took a nap on your head.

6.) Leave It To The Professionals. You wouldn't let Shaqueena from down the hall give you liposuction on her coffee table, so don't let that bitch do your hair at her coffee table. Find a professional weave-ologist and let that bitch do her job. Sure, you'll pay a lil more, but refer to #4. 

    Like with anything, you get out of your fake hair what you put into it. Spend a lot and it'll look like you spent a lot. Be cheap and you're gonna look cheap. As a man, I have more respect and a better appreciation for woman that makes the effort to delude me into thinking that they got Indian in their family. I daresay that I'm not the only dude that does. And if you don't wear weave, I'm not suggesting that you do. It's your hair and you have a right to wear it any way that you want to. Bought hair, grown hair, permed hair, natural hair, it's all good if you like it. Just keep it looking tight.