Thirsty Ass Bitches

    

    A Thirsty Ass Bitch, a.k.a. a Desperate Bitch, is a danger to themselves and to everyone around them. Their desire to quench their thirst is so great that they'll behave in ways that are unreasonable, unethical, irrational, and sometimes even illegal. They lose the capacity to care about anyone or anything other than sating their desire to partake of whatever will satisfy their thirst. To achieve their goal, the Thirsty Ass Bitch will lie, cheat, steal, or kill. And the sad thing? In their parched minds, they did absolutely nothing wrong.

    A Thirsty Ass Bitch will call you a dozen times at an ungodly hour where only whores, pimps, colicky babies, insomniacs, and other deviants are awake. A Thirsty Ass Bitch will blow your phone up with calls and text messages begging you to call them or demanding to know why you haven't called them. A Thirsty Ass Bitch will flood your Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, or whatever social networking site you use, sending you messages, tweets, or posting on your wall every 2 minutes. A Thirsty Ass Bitch will show up at your crib unexpectedly, unannounced, and unwanted at 1:30 am saying some shit like, "Oh, I was just in the neighborhood." Bitch please, your thirsty ass ain't fooling nobody. A Thirsty Ass Bitch will offer to fly you 1,000 miles, put you up in a 5 star hotel, pay for a rental car, and personally chauffeur you around their city, and all this before they even know the name your mama put on your birth certificate, and not the name your niggas call you. A Thirsty Ass Bitch will beg you not to leave after sex and to keep you with them they will entice you with offers of more sex and blueberry pancakes, eggs, and bacon that next morning with hand squeezed orange juice and the day's edition of the newspaper. A Thirsty Ass Bitch will lock her children in the closet to fuck you--a Thirsty Ass Bitch may not even tell you she has kids--because they might get in the way of her quenching her thirst. A Thirsty Ass Bitch will poke holes in your condoms, accidentally forget to take the pill, or tell you to forget the condom all together to get some. A Thirsty Ass Bitch will kill your pet, kidnap and kill her rival, kill you, and ultimately kill herself because if you refuse to satisfy her thirst, and you're stepping out with some other bitch, then that bitch deserves to die for not being as thirsty, you deserve to die for not satisfying the thirst, and the Thirsty Ass Bitch has to die because she has no one to quench her thirst.

    And a Thirsty Ass Bitch will make you change your phone number, delete your social networking profile, change your email, sign onto AIM or YIM as Invisible, move far away, get a restraining order, and, in the worst case scenario, pick their thirsty ass out of a police line up or watch, as your soul ascends into Heaven--or descends into Hell or Purgatory--them kill themself or get taken into police custody.  

    Thirsty Ass Bitches are usually the result of low self-esteem. They may be attractive people physically, but for whatever reason they can't see that. When they get someone they act out because they're afraid that the person will leave them. Either that or they're so socially stunted that they aren't used to meeting people, and when they do they simply don't know how to act. They don't understand that their thirsty ways will cause others to leave them because they cannot think rationally. They are being led not by reason but by passion, and when humans let passion overpower reason, they behave in erratic ways. They have too much time on their hands and because they have no life, they make you their life. 

    This isn't to say that thirst or passion are bad, because they are natural human emotions. However, just because you are thirsty doesn't mean that you have to act like you're thirsty. Just because I haven't had water in 7 hours doesn't mean that I'm going to stick a nigga for his Poland Spring. It ain't that serious. Just because you aren't used to shit doesn't mean that you have to let everyone know how unused to shit you really are. There's something called playing hard to get, it's a game where you don't let the other person know how much you're feeling them, and that makes them want you more. Humans are weird in that we want the unattainable. There's something about a thing being so far above us  that it's unreachable, that makes it all the more attractive to us. Be aloof, don't call them first, let them call you. I understand that it's hard because they got it going on, etc. But instead of stressing them, go for a fucking walk. Get your hair and nails done. Go shopping. Take a nap. Play 2K11 or COD. Watch TV. Do whatever you have to do to get them off your mind. Properly distracted, time will fly by, and before you know it, they're calling you because they're wanting to know why you haven't called them.   

    Thirsty Ass Bitches have to be dealt with harshly. This is because they sincerely don't believe that they are doing anything wrong. They're just trying to befriend you, why are you acting that way? Most Thirsty Ass Bitches don't know they're Thirsty Ass Bitches. As this is the case, it's up to you to let them know. You can't ignore a Thirsty Ass Bitch. You can't gently let a Thirsty Ass Bitch down. The only way that you can be rid of a Thirsty Ass Bitch is to force them to face their thirsty ass ways and they can only face them once they realize that they exist. Be as nasty as possible. Make them cry even. Make them look upon you with so much distaste, disgust, and disfavor that they'll never want to think of you again. You don't want them in your lives anyway, so why be concerned with their feelings? Tell them like the picture below says, fuck you and your fucking feelings!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!